Some people are worried to be alone, worried not to have enough friends. I think it’s a myth that the more friends you have the better person you are. Popularity doesn’t equal “goodness”. I could make time for every one of the Facebook friends I have, try to catch up with each one for a drink, a meal, a cup of tea. But as popular as that might make me, I would be spreading myself so thin that I wouldn’t be cultivating any actual friendships and worse than that, I’d be running myself into the ground trying to keep up, and then what use am I to anyone. I used to be like that. If someone asked me to do something my automatic answer would be “yes”. No matter if it meant I was double or triple booking myself, I’d say yes anyway and make it work, because I never wanted to be the person who said ‘no’. I wanted to be the person who people knew was there for them at the drop of a hat. At some point I realised you can’t be that person to everyone, but still after realising it, it took me a long time to accept and let go. I can’t pinpoint a time or a place, or even a reason why, but one day like a switch had flipped I was ok with not being that person to everyone anymore. I stopped worrying what most people thought about me. I say “most” people, because I began focusing primarily on what my “inner circle” thought. My inner circle are people who I care most about, people who I would not be the same person without, people whose opinions matter to me and likewise my opinion matters to them, friendship is a two way street. If they’re not bringing anything to the table, why are you serving your best? Outside of that circle are people who rarely influence who I am as a person anymore. That being said, this circle is not a members only/exclusive group, it’s not a written list of people accompanied by headshots and friendship stats. It’s mental list and it’s fluid, people will come and go from it over the years probably without them even knowing, because I believe greatly in surrounding myself with positive energy and quickly removing any negative. I freely admit, some people may read this and think “is this btch for real? She’s the most negative person I know”. But you know what, I’m not that bothered by those people. And I really believe in the saying “what other people think of you is none of your business”. So as long as my little circle and I are happy, healthy, and most of all positive, that’s all that matters to me.
My Inner Circle