Went over to Jessi’s. She offered me wine, I reminded her I was sober, she was relieved as she really only had half a glass left in the bottle and was just being polite.
Stepped on some scales at Kmart. They were just sitting in an aisle. Who can resist? Actually most people. Not me. I stepped onto those bad boys, and very quickly stepped back off, jumped, jolted, repelled, repulsed off them (yes, I did a synonym search). 70 kilos. WTF. Pardon my abbreviated french. 70kg of 5′ 5″ woman! Those proportions don’t add up. Emotional eating seems evident.
Dinner with 10 of my closest friends. It turns out champagne might have liked them more than I do.
Internet date. Concerned he will notice that I’m ten kilos heavier than my profile picture. And I only took that picture last week.
One face-mask and two d&m’s down, girls night is in full swing, we decide to venture out fresh-faced to get a couple of Soy Chai’s. Well not quite fresh faced, I had broken out in a bad case of face mask induced adult acne. Off to Maccas we go.
With the help of my new management and production teams, we attempt to make me a YouTube sensashe.
Outtakes below. Actually, these are also the best bits. We have some work to do.